Quote of the Day~

You must never give in to despair. Allow yourself to slip down that road and you surrender to your lowest instincts. In the darkest times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength.
-Uncle Iroh

sdjfaoiwejfowei fml

God I hate how they just assume I'm carelessly selfishly spending money. I just suggested getting hair and makeup professionally done. I found out yesterday that I wanted to get it done at a salon. Of course I don't know how much it costs cause I haven't asked Anne yet. Of course I don't want to needlessly spend more money and of course I'm trying to think of ways to save money. That's why I haven't asked you stupid parents yet. Cause I'm afraid you'll just scream at me for wanting to spend more money. I want to get it done professionally but I know it'll cost a lot. That's why I'm trying to find ways to do it myself. But I will need hairspray, a curling iron, a flower clip or tie, bobby pins, fake lashes, bronzer, foundation, red lipstick, red lip liner, and brushes. Now would it still be better to do it myself or get it done professionally?.....cause chances are i'm not going to use those things more than a couple times in my life......seriously you guys didn't even let me talk...I didn't already decide that I wanted to get it done without talking to you guys-_________-....I told the thing that I was thinking about getting hair and makeup done professionally....and then the thing said getting it done professionally would cost more than doing it myself....then u just butt in very rudely and ask why I would need to get that done....then you call me down 5 minutes after I go up to yell at me and say I can't get it done cause it costs too much and i'm being selfish and it's not my money it's yours...which isn't even true cause i frikin earned a good $500 on my own out in Pittsburg doing trailwork....try calling that your own money...cause its not.....of course i'm thinking about the price....i'm the cheapest person in my group....i'm probably the cheapest person at home too.....I haven't bought any clothes since like....the beginning of the school year cause I don't want to "waste" money and get you mad.....I'm not the one paying for meals when I go out to eat cause I have an amazing boyfriend....even though I really am perfectly fine with paying for myself....but if i did pay for myself I wouldn't go with them because of you....I only spend money on the necessities or really really cheap stuff....like....one dollar headphones, 2 for $1 mentos, $4 chicken soup at tijana joe's at 10 pm after not eating since like....12 pm.....shoes and dress for prom....which I really don't think you can get out of paying a lot of money for....and the amount we did pay for it was discounted like crazy!....$15 shoes from Nine West....Nine frikin West!....that's crazy cheap!....and $140 dress from macy's which originally cost $210....there were honestly no cheaper dresses....they were all $200 and you know that!....of course the dress katherine bought was cheap! the material was completely different and it was damaged!....I wouldn't look good in that type of dress and all of the other dresses that cheap looked horrible on me!....the only other option I had was getting a short dress.....which I didn't mind doing at all last year....but this is senior prom...this is only goina happen once in my life....and all the other girls in our group are getting long dresses....actually I wouldn't mind wearing a short dress cept for the fact that everyone in the group would call me cheap and I would feel really bad cause Nobu has spent so much money on me out of love and courtesy and it'll seem like i'm not even willing to spend a little extra for prom....he's even paying for my limo money!...i think....if he isn't that's fine i'll just use my savings....this is why i hate asking my parents for money...they always make me feel like i'm being selfish and I owe them my life or something.....and i know i don't show them alota love....but honestly would you be able to if you were me?.....I don't think you would....the guilt is endless....I can't be happy about it....i wonder how long it'll be before i'm eaten alive by my guilt....it's not cool....and the guilt is accompanied by hate too....very justified hate....anyone would hate for the reason i do....it's not just cause i'm special or spoiled or anything.....I think i'm just destined to suffer.....yeah...that's the plan the stupid "Force of the Universe" has for me....I don't believe in God....nothing has ever given me reason to be religious or anything so i'm just going to believe in karma...cause karma sucks....seriously what did i do in my past life that gives me so much frikin bad karma?...this reminds me of a quote.....from avatar....i'm goina go look for that....

schedule timeT-T

ok so i've procrastinated for way too long...and now i really need to do some serious time managing




2-3: hardball
3-4: socratic seminar
4-5: lit poem
5-9: math hw
9-11: bio study

yayyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!

I got my dress woot woot! It's a satin silver mermaid dress ^^ I love it so much....but it wasn't THE dress.....THE dress was the satin dark blue mermaid halterT-T
o well

so my homework:
m: txbk, test tues
bio: test thurs, read
lit: poem, get the play Wit by Margaret Edson by next friday
gov: read, test tues, Socratic seminar, hardball

soooooooo much effin hwT-T

buttttttttt....i am imagining my prom image
Nana steps out of the limo door wearing silver pumps with red nailpolish on her toes and fingers, the silver mermaid dress, a shiny silver necklace, deep red lipstick, flawless face and natural eye makeup, false lashes, a messy updo tied into a bun in the back with a deep red flower on the side, and a few strands of hair falling from both sides to frame her face

i just want a no emotion button

crycrycry i hate myself so much...so much guilt and anger in a bottle....i think i'll just sleep now....to tired to do anything....

Happy Birthday James!

Today is James's birthday^^ I'm guessing he's 20....he won't tell me his real age:P I'd get him a present that isn't edible but he's leaving for the Marines for 5 years soooo.....there's no use in getting him something that he's going to let collect dust in about a month....sigh he's leaving April 11th I think....boy u better make me proud:P

I feel so much at ease right now....I probably shouldn't be though...lets see
math: forget it tonight
physics: test
gov: stupid wkst and txbk; term Q friday, hardball
lit: print out papers and read 30 pgs of sounds for poetryT.T; poem

seriously why is fleenor making this semester all about us teaching each other?>:[
grrrrrrrrrr....i understand his methods but i think he should allow us students to give each other quizzes instead of him...no one is taking this peer teaching seriously either....we should be assigned homework and be given tests or quizzes for grades...I just don't like how he's not teaching us anything...grrrrrrrr...and i really hate poetry

I went to caribou to study with katherine after school and did physics all web^^ I just hope I can get a decent prom dress...I'll probably promise my parents that i'll pay for half the price of the dress....we'll see

Work Out Baby!

haha today I ran at the park with Anne for 30 minutes^^...I can say I feel amazing right now...or at least.....better than I would if I hadn't exercised at all. I did eat soup and fried rice as soon as I got home but what the heck^^ The soup was soooooooo delicious I don't even care if all the stuff I burned comes back^.~. We ran a good....5 to 7 laps?...and big laps too^^....She stopped a couple times but I pushed her to keep going! woooooooooo! I wish I had her figureT-T....so pretty....but yeah now i'm working on my lit project....I have sooooo much stuff to do.

math: txbk
gov: worksheet frikin busy work that's goina take forever
lit: projectT-T....seriously...my author has no frikin biography!