oooooooooooooo god

times like this that will turn a non believer of luck into someone who wishes on 11:11, crosses every appendage they can, and apologizes to any god out there for all the sins they've committedT-T

homework time:P

m: txbk
bio: read
p:packet
g: socratic seminar
lit: sound and sense

homework time:P

m: txbk 3
b: test
g: bill 5 , political meeting 6, test
lit: makeup 4

homework time:P

math: txbk for quiz
gov: quiz
lit: test, sound and sense

homework time:P

m: txbk
bio: wkst
p: webassign
g: read
lit: sound and sense

homework time:P

math: god ...that's all i can say
bio: read?
gov:read
lit: sound and sense

I hope to see you June 17th

I just want you to know how incredibly proud I am of you. I never doubted your ability to become a marine. Instead, I was worried as heck about all the pain I know you would go through to become one. All odds were against you, but you pulled through, and in the end, I know you'll pull through boot camp too. You will graduate as a Marine. You will accomplish you're dream. The amount of passion you have shown is your justification. And if for some reason you don't come back as a Marine, I will still be proud of you no matter what, because I know that you wouldn't leave Paris Island without a fight.

I will write to you at least twice a week, and I'll send pictures as often as possible. Don't worry about my faithfulness in that respect. Dang it I need to get my frikin license. I will wear your beads and dog tags every single day, maybe not to school, but definitely at home. I'm not at all embarrassed to wear them. I just don't want to give people the wrong impression. I know how much they mean to you, so I will keep my promise. If I find a way, I will get a hammer and nail and finish the job of nailing your dog tags to a tree and send you a picture of that^^

In half an hour, you'll be on the bus to boot camp. I hope you write to me like you promise. You'll always be the amazing big brother that I look up to and admire. Good luck. I love you.

Gloria by Yui

My friend Michael just showed me this awesome song by Yui about not giving up and persevering. For me it pretty much hits home with the mv and lyrics. Two people will be apart for an extremely long amount of time, and both will need to persevere through difficulties and hardships, but neither will give up. I intend to do this. Lets see how well that turns out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIBZ55mOhLg

operation beads

wear plain black t shirt w blue shorts
put large t shirt and brown pants over that
put camera in pocket
get water bottle
tell parents ur goin runnin
put on thin socks
pu hair in ponytail
when u get to garage, put on puma shoes
when u get to forest, take off pants and t shirt layer and hide somewhere
hide water bottle too
after chicken leaves, get sweaty a little
then go put clothes back on and go home
put stamps in black t shirt to hide

homework time:P

m: hw
b: test
l: sound and sense; wit

sadness man...sadness

So basically I thought I got accepted to tech. Everyone was so happy for me and they were screaming and hugging me and all that stuff. But then when I got home and showed my parents the acceptance thing, they were initially really happy too. However, once they read the whole thing, they were like....wait....what is this....read this first cause i don't quite understand. Turns out, I wasn't really accepted. I was basically given a pity acceptance. The first 2 years I would study at a crappy college that doesn't even have a ranking. Then the last 2 years I would study at tech. This basically means that I have been rejected from the GT campus. They are giving me an opportunity to go to tech in 2 years instead of just outright rejecting me. I'm not mad or anything. I'm just super depressed.....really really really depressed. Cause the ppl who got accepted....haven't studied nearly as hard as me....I just don't find that part fair. So I'm just seeing this as tech rejecting me. Therefore, I will be going to UGA to study pharmacy and maybe 2nd year transfer to tech....we'll see....

homework time:P

math: quiz
bio: quiz
gov: test
lit: test

political meeting todayT-T

I hafta go to a political meeting at 6-7pm today at city hall to listen to the Public Safety & Public Works Committee Meeting. It's goina be such a waste of time. I honestly have no interest....actually that's being to nice...I actually hate politics and government....no hard feelings or anything i just find the subject extremely boring, dry, and corrupt. Why can't reale just do seg like boyd?>:[ grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....and i have a crapload of stuff on thursday....

lit: poetry terms test(sounds easy....but if u don't fleenor...you'd understand that it's effin hard)
bio: ch. 46-47 quizT_T....i hate reading....actually i only hate it because i can't do it properly....it literally takes me hours and hours to get through anything unless it's a good story
physics: TEST!T-T....crysobfallonthegrouddead i'm goina die
gov: stupid socratic seminar....why can't she just give us all 100% participation grade for talking once?!?

thank you for enlightening me michael^^ quote of the day!

People make fun of you and nana being bi or gay because people envy that kind of close relationship you two have.

Moms are scary

It truly amazes me. Every single time my mom is right.....and the accuracy is astounding. She's only seen me with Ren for a small amount of time...yet she was able to figure out and predict so much0.0....makes me wonder what doesn't she know

homework time:P

math: txbk, test corrections
bio: read, online thing
p: test thurs, webassign, wkst
gov: political meeting, read, test friday
lit: sound and sense

homework time:P

math: txbk, test corrections
bio: readT-T
physics: hw, webassign
gov: quiz, read
lit: testT-T

Just because we're best friends doesn't mean we need to betray the trust of out other friends to keep out friendship.

homework time:P

b: test
p: wkst
g: read; hardball
lit: poem

kinda bummed...

Right now I'm kinda sad. It's really silly, but it's important to me. It's senior prom, and my best friend in the whole wide world is getting her makeup and hair professionally done either at the mall or at a salon. I can't do that thought cause it costs too much and I'm not the one making the money in my house. I totally understand my parents and all. I didn't even want to get it done professionally cause of the cost. I wanted to have fun getting ready for prom together just like last year. I'm just bummed that we won't be laughin in front of the mirror doing our hair and makeup in her mom's bathroom, spending hours messing up and reapplying eyeliner and eyeshadow and redoing our hair. It just won't be the same. I feel like she's off to a much better place. I guess it's a foreshadow to what life's goina be like for college. She's goina forget all about me and be happy in her own big world out there. I don't blame her at all for going to a salon. She's going to look beautiful and she deserves the best. I just wish I could be there with her doing the same thing. It just makes me kinda....lonely ya know?kinda sad...

Question of the Day~

You know what I don't get? Why do girls...and maybe boys....why do they hate it when someone else wears the same thing as them?....I mean....for example...
It's prom time. Nana and Mitsuko are friends and go dress shopping. Mitsuko gets a blue mermaid strapless dress. Nana can't find any good dresses at Towncenter Mall, so she goes to Perimeter Mall a week later to get a dress. She finds THE DRESS...THE PERFECT DARK BLUE HALTER MERMAID DRESS THAT SHE WAS DYING TO WEAR SINCE LAST PROM. and for the record....both Mitsuko and Nana wanted to get a mermaid dress...Nana told Mitsuko way before shopping that she wanted to get a dark blue or silver dress either mermaid or with a pretty back....and Mitsuko showed Nana a picture of a dress that she wanted which was of a more silky and cotton-y material...u know the kind that tall girls look best in?....When Nana went pre-prom shopping, she found a really pretty dress with a really pretty back, but she couldn't buy it at that moment due to circumstances. She went the next week to Dillards and found two pretty back dresses that she also liked to back of, but did not fully love. She went to Macy's the next day and found the prettiest mermaid dresses everrrrrrrr....the dark blue halter one...and the 2nd place silver one.....the mermaid dresses that she found at Dillards all had some type of issue with them....the ones at Macy's were a much better quality....basically...Nana knew that she wanted a mermaid dress...but she was prepaired to settle for less....so she wanted to get the blue mermaid dress....but she knew Mitsuko had a very similar dress....so she called Mitsuko to ask her what she thought about the situation....and Mitsuko basically flips out and refuses to let Nana get the mermaid dress....which was....THE DRESS...if ya know what i mean....the dress Nana dreamed of wearing....sigh.....so Nana gets the silver mermaid dress instead....

so yeah that's the story
basically
I don't understand what the big deal is....the dresses aren't exactly the same....the color and style are the same....but hers is strapless and one Nana found is halter....also, the one Nana found could be strapless and would not show the armpit fatT-T...it was PERFECT.....sigh....i'm goina be sad about this for a long time.....i don't know if i can easily get over it.....

but yeah....so Nana asked her good friend Hachi why it's such a bad thing...and Hachi says it's cause girls think: "This is my night and this is my dress and you're stealing the spotlight away from me...why are you copying me? why couldn't you get another dress?"
But seriously....how immature is that?...It's not like Mitsuko designed or made the dress.....there is more than one dress for sale for a reason....that dress doesn't belong solely to her....all other girls have every right and privilege to wear that dress....it's not even the same dress! She can't "own" it. The only reason I can think of for Mitsuko not wanting Nana to get the dress is because she's afraid Nana will look so much better in it....which is stupid....and Impossible because MItsuko is really the prettiest girl ever....and Mitsuko should have no inferiority complex. I dunno....i need some serious enlightenment cause I'm goina be pretty sad about this for a while....

Quote of the Day~

You must never give in to despair. Allow yourself to slip down that road and you surrender to your lowest instincts. In the darkest times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength.
-Uncle Iroh

sdjfaoiwejfowei fml

God I hate how they just assume I'm carelessly selfishly spending money. I just suggested getting hair and makeup professionally done. I found out yesterday that I wanted to get it done at a salon. Of course I don't know how much it costs cause I haven't asked Anne yet. Of course I don't want to needlessly spend more money and of course I'm trying to think of ways to save money. That's why I haven't asked you stupid parents yet. Cause I'm afraid you'll just scream at me for wanting to spend more money. I want to get it done professionally but I know it'll cost a lot. That's why I'm trying to find ways to do it myself. But I will need hairspray, a curling iron, a flower clip or tie, bobby pins, fake lashes, bronzer, foundation, red lipstick, red lip liner, and brushes. Now would it still be better to do it myself or get it done professionally?.....cause chances are i'm not going to use those things more than a couple times in my life......seriously you guys didn't even let me talk...I didn't already decide that I wanted to get it done without talking to you guys-_________-....I told the thing that I was thinking about getting hair and makeup done professionally....and then the thing said getting it done professionally would cost more than doing it myself....then u just butt in very rudely and ask why I would need to get that done....then you call me down 5 minutes after I go up to yell at me and say I can't get it done cause it costs too much and i'm being selfish and it's not my money it's yours...which isn't even true cause i frikin earned a good $500 on my own out in Pittsburg doing trailwork....try calling that your own money...cause its not.....of course i'm thinking about the price....i'm the cheapest person in my group....i'm probably the cheapest person at home too.....I haven't bought any clothes since like....the beginning of the school year cause I don't want to "waste" money and get you mad.....I'm not the one paying for meals when I go out to eat cause I have an amazing boyfriend....even though I really am perfectly fine with paying for myself....but if i did pay for myself I wouldn't go with them because of you....I only spend money on the necessities or really really cheap stuff....like....one dollar headphones, 2 for $1 mentos, $4 chicken soup at tijana joe's at 10 pm after not eating since like....12 pm.....shoes and dress for prom....which I really don't think you can get out of paying a lot of money for....and the amount we did pay for it was discounted like crazy!....$15 shoes from Nine West....Nine frikin West!....that's crazy cheap!....and $140 dress from macy's which originally cost $210....there were honestly no cheaper dresses....they were all $200 and you know that!....of course the dress katherine bought was cheap! the material was completely different and it was damaged!....I wouldn't look good in that type of dress and all of the other dresses that cheap looked horrible on me!....the only other option I had was getting a short dress.....which I didn't mind doing at all last year....but this is senior prom...this is only goina happen once in my life....and all the other girls in our group are getting long dresses....actually I wouldn't mind wearing a short dress cept for the fact that everyone in the group would call me cheap and I would feel really bad cause Nobu has spent so much money on me out of love and courtesy and it'll seem like i'm not even willing to spend a little extra for prom....he's even paying for my limo money!...i think....if he isn't that's fine i'll just use my savings....this is why i hate asking my parents for money...they always make me feel like i'm being selfish and I owe them my life or something.....and i know i don't show them alota love....but honestly would you be able to if you were me?.....I don't think you would....the guilt is endless....I can't be happy about it....i wonder how long it'll be before i'm eaten alive by my guilt....it's not cool....and the guilt is accompanied by hate too....very justified hate....anyone would hate for the reason i do....it's not just cause i'm special or spoiled or anything.....I think i'm just destined to suffer.....yeah...that's the plan the stupid "Force of the Universe" has for me....I don't believe in God....nothing has ever given me reason to be religious or anything so i'm just going to believe in karma...cause karma sucks....seriously what did i do in my past life that gives me so much frikin bad karma?...this reminds me of a quote.....from avatar....i'm goina go look for that....

schedule timeT-T

ok so i've procrastinated for way too long...and now i really need to do some serious time managing




2-3: hardball
3-4: socratic seminar
4-5: lit poem
5-9: math hw
9-11: bio study

yayyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!

I got my dress woot woot! It's a satin silver mermaid dress ^^ I love it so much....but it wasn't THE dress.....THE dress was the satin dark blue mermaid halterT-T
o well

so my homework:
m: txbk, test tues
bio: test thurs, read
lit: poem, get the play Wit by Margaret Edson by next friday
gov: read, test tues, Socratic seminar, hardball

soooooooo much effin hwT-T

buttttttttt....i am imagining my prom image
Nana steps out of the limo door wearing silver pumps with red nailpolish on her toes and fingers, the silver mermaid dress, a shiny silver necklace, deep red lipstick, flawless face and natural eye makeup, false lashes, a messy updo tied into a bun in the back with a deep red flower on the side, and a few strands of hair falling from both sides to frame her face

i just want a no emotion button

crycrycry i hate myself so much...so much guilt and anger in a bottle....i think i'll just sleep now....to tired to do anything....

Happy Birthday James!

Today is James's birthday^^ I'm guessing he's 20....he won't tell me his real age:P I'd get him a present that isn't edible but he's leaving for the Marines for 5 years soooo.....there's no use in getting him something that he's going to let collect dust in about a month....sigh he's leaving April 11th I think....boy u better make me proud:P

I feel so much at ease right now....I probably shouldn't be though...lets see
math: forget it tonight
physics: test
gov: stupid wkst and txbk; term Q friday, hardball
lit: print out papers and read 30 pgs of sounds for poetryT.T; poem

seriously why is fleenor making this semester all about us teaching each other?>:[
grrrrrrrrrr....i understand his methods but i think he should allow us students to give each other quizzes instead of him...no one is taking this peer teaching seriously either....we should be assigned homework and be given tests or quizzes for grades...I just don't like how he's not teaching us anything...grrrrrrrr...and i really hate poetry

I went to caribou to study with katherine after school and did physics all web^^ I just hope I can get a decent prom dress...I'll probably promise my parents that i'll pay for half the price of the dress....we'll see

Work Out Baby!

haha today I ran at the park with Anne for 30 minutes^^...I can say I feel amazing right now...or at least.....better than I would if I hadn't exercised at all. I did eat soup and fried rice as soon as I got home but what the heck^^ The soup was soooooooo delicious I don't even care if all the stuff I burned comes back^.~. We ran a good....5 to 7 laps?...and big laps too^^....She stopped a couple times but I pushed her to keep going! woooooooooo! I wish I had her figureT-T....so pretty....but yeah now i'm working on my lit project....I have sooooo much stuff to do.

math: txbk
gov: worksheet frikin busy work that's goina take forever
lit: projectT-T....seriously...my author has no frikin biography!